Perfect Distraction

Posted: October 12, 2010 in Uncategorized

Teaching is such a pefect distraction.  I don’t have to be present in my own life if I’m teaching you how to be present in yours.  I don’t have to be fearless if I’m teaching you how to be fearless.  I can hide all my bullshit in plain sight.  I don’t have to live it if I’m busy teaching it!

And as I explain that you don’t need outside validation, I feel validated.  You don’t need to worry about money, I get paid.  Buy my books and you’ll have the freedom from the power of money that I have!  Just make sure you buy my books. 

Ladies and gentlemen, meet your local politician, pastor, leader, savior, professor, motivational speaker!  For too long leadership has been an excuse for not participating in trials and lifestyle of the masses.  That’s coming to an end.  You think anybody gets a free pass?  Not in this fire. 

Establish yourself, son.  Stand.  Know.  Be this.  No more running away. 

I’m a good boy.  I blogged today.  What a fantastic way to feed the validation gods without ever really knowing if any good came of my efforts.  It doesn’t matter though.  All I have to do is imagine this reached somebody.  Believe it.  Isn’t that all the rave these days?  Believing?  Fuckin believing.  What a joke.  Anyway, if I believe I helped somebody today,  Then I can feel good about myself.  Satisfy the beast within that is constantly grasping and reaching and never satisfied for long.  I’m a good boy.  I helped somebody by blogging today.  I helped myself by helping someone else.  I’m feeding on my service more than anyone else.  Maybe now I’ve earned that which is actually available for free: peace of mind.  Maybe I get 45 minutes of rest before the beast summons me again.  To do it’s bidding.  To fortify the walls of it’s fragile ego against an enemy that can’t be stopped:  time itself.  Every tick of the clock, the beast is one step closer to destruction.  Only you can save it by serving it endlessly.  and you will only serve it if you believe the lie:  that the voice demanding your unending toil is actually you.

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